Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Pissu Ballek

Ko Hina Wennalkooo

Latest Sweet from Japan

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Local Calls

The Queen,George Bush & Chandrika all died & went to hell.
They were sitting & chatting together when the Queen wondered how her subjects were & requested the Devil for a call to England. After a lot of persuasion she got the call & spoke for about 5 minutes ...

Queen : How much for the call ?
Devil : 1 million pounds
Queen : A million pounds ??? however she had no choice but to pay. She paid & went back to her seat.

George Bush not wanting to be kept out of things requested a call too. he was given the call, spoke for about 3 minutes & was charged 2 Million dollars.

Chandrika seeing all this got extremely jealous. She made a hugh racket & started shouting I too need a call. I need to speak to my prime miniter The Army commander need to know how the war is going ... etc. The devil was so irritated he gave her the call to Sri lanka. She spoke & spoke & spoke she went on for about 10 hours. Finally she asked..

Chandrika : how much for the call
Devil : 10 Rupees only
Chandrika : What only 10 Rupees ????
Devil : Well, from Hell to Hell, it's a local Call.

Passing the Exam

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"


Train has to go on the Road




Niyama Chat Room eka



Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Bird watching

Take a look at the two birds below. Study them closely and watch their habits...

See if you can spot which of the two is the female.

It can be done.

Even by one with no skills whatsoever in bird watching.



Friday, November 14, 2008

how 2 divorced monkeys try to share their only child

See Panties

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!"
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.

The little girl replied, ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.

The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."

''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.

The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"

The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."

The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...''

Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Sardarji Jokes

Birth of Twins

Why the Sardarji wife who gave birth to twins is sad?
Her husband has gone out looking for the other man.

Busy

Q: How do you keep a sardarji busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Orange Juice

Q: Why did the Sardarji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate' .

Time

Sardarji: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
Sardarji: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the wierdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

Filling Application

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job.

He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK.

On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our Sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.

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amdon.co.cc, jokes, fun, joke stories, joke images, fun songs, fun images, funny cartoons, joke videos, funny images, funny videos, funny stories

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Maara Uththare ...

Once a husband was calling to the hospital to ask abt his pregnent wife's condition...

but unfortunately the call got cross connected n was transfered to a cricket stadium...

the husband asked the present condition...
.
.
.
.
.
.
the husband died as soon as he heard the reply...

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already 7 are out and 3 more will be out by lunch...
the first one was a duck...

Ranil & His Friends

While visiting India, Prime Minister Ranil is invited to tea with President Abdul Kalam.

He asks President Kalam what his leadership philosophy is.

He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.

Ranil asks how he knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says President Kalam.

"Allow me to demonstrate."

Ranil watches as President Kalam phones Manmohan Singh, the Indian Prime Minister and says,

"Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister.

Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds,

"It's me, Sir !"

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam.

He hangs up and says,

"Did you get that, Mr.
Ranil?"

Ranil nods:

"Yes Mr. President.

Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"


Ranil, upon returning to Colombo , decides he'd better put his friend, Ravi to the test.

Ranil summons him to Temple Trees and says,

"
Ravi , I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, Aiya. What's on your mind?"
Ranil poses the question:

"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.

Who is it?"

Ravi was puzzled and finally asks,

"Can I think about it and get back to you?"

Ranil agrees, and Ravi leaves.

Ravi immediately calls a meeting of the senior armed services & ministers of the cabinet, including his other friends, SB & Kirielle and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.

Finally, in desperation,
Ravi calls Wimal Weerawansa and explains the problem.

"Mr.
Wimal Weerawansa, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Wimal answers immediately,

"It's me, of course."


Much relieved, Ravi rushes back to Temple Trees, finds
Ranil, and exclaims,

"I know the answer, Mr. Rasnil!

I know, who it is!

It's
Wimal Weerawansa !"

And
Ranil replies in disgust,

"Wrong, its Manmohan Singh!"

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Why Newton Commited Suicide ??

Why Newton Committed Suicide?

Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies
that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics
were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an
extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes..................................


1)Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the
doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent.In one of the fights,
our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet
passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured!
Long Live Rajanikanth!!! (Rajanikanth is a legendary South Indian Actor)


2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3
gangsters.Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a
knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster?
& shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2
pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle
gangster & the knife kills the middle one.


3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a
revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in
your remotest imaginations.

He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster
shoots,Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and
catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.
Bang... the gangster dies...



This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely
shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie
for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of
physics.The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the
world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!



The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that
the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that
Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that
our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain
because it's the climax.

(Newton Bhai is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He
throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the
height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air.
The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.


Newton commits suicide...........

Dangers of Women Wrestling


D

Never go to HR for Help

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; my friend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e . 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)


Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days,
How many days do you now have?

Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year.
Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left.

How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!


Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday)?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!


Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing Company money all these days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!

HR = HIGH RISK

Pls Answer These ......

1. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

2. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

3. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do Bars have parking lots?

4. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Friday, September 12, 2008

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

We Lankans Never say no

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate was Sompala Pathirana a Sinhalese living in USA.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asked those who do not know JAVA programming to leave the hall. 2000 people left the room. Soma says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try.

Then Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people left the room.. Soma says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people left the room. Soma says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat language to leave. 498 people left the room. Soma says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined the two and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who have all the required qualifications & experience I am looking for and speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

and......

Calmly, Soma turns to the other candidate and says `Kohomada Machang?

The other candidate answers ' Ammata Hudu....umbath Lankavenda??

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Monday, August 25, 2008

Friday, August 15, 2008

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Mgt, HR & Employee

Kesel


eka kesel gediyak kamu. anith eva ????????


Friday, August 8, 2008

Maara Nindak (Joke image)

Horrer Movie (Joke image)

Monday Joke


Wait till image loads


Karma in an Example (Joke image)

Wait till image loads.


Wa

God Saw Me (English Jokes)

1.
God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

2.
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

3.
TEACHER: Name four members of the cat family?
STUDENTS: Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens !

4.
Police man: Stop, stop, your headlights are not working.
The Man: Move, move, even the brakes are not working.

5.
Why does history keep repeating it self?
Because we weren't listening the first time !

6.
A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...
still he was in jail.......why?
..
..
..
coz all the 6 were firebrigade staff !

7.
"Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes of course...."
..
..
..
"Great ! I never could before"

8.
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too.
..
..
..
If rain makes all things beautiful why dosen't it rain on you?

9.
When ur life is in darkness pray to God ask him to
free u from darkness and if after you pray and your
..
..
..
still in darkness, please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL !

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

From Where Salman Khan got his hair style for Tere Naam..

This is Salman in "Tere Naam"....scroll down past this pic to find out from where he got his inspiration for his hairstyle in this movie...


Go down to see where he got this idea.












Osama in Love (Jome image)

Monday, August 4, 2008

Only one Foot (Joke story)

There was a Soldier who has lost his one foot by an accident.(war)

He used an artificial leg and doing his daily works and willing to marry soon.

But his girl doesn't know about his artificial leg.

They got married and it came the honeymoon night.

Girl went to the bed and waited for the husband.Then only she saw that he is removing his leg.

She shocked... but thought "wot to do now..".

Next day she sms to her mom saying "living happily.But my husband has only one foot".

immediately she got the reply from her mom saying "lucky you.your father has only six inch..."

Don't post your photos in Web

Go Down

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