Thursday, June 30, 2011

Dirty Mind-Random Funny Images

Modern Mouse Trap
Historical Truth

Bad Question..lol

THE AWESOME TRUTH

Technology

In office boss to secretary..

In office boss to secretary..

Boss: Let me fuck you once , i’ll be quick and pay you 1000$. I’ll throw the money on the floor and you bend down & pick it up all, I’ll be done..!

secretary likes the proposal and she calls her boy friend.

Boy friend: Its fine, but ask for 2000$ and be very qyick to pick the money.

After 4 hours boy friend calls her.

Boy friend:what happened?

Girl friend: That bastard is still fucking me. He gave me all cents coins...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Are my testicles black..????

A man in a ICU with tubes inserted here & there, asked the nurse with Oxygen mask is on his nose & mouth....

"Are...my... testicles... black....??"

"Sorry.......!!" The nurse needed a clarification......

"Are...my... testicles... black....???" the man muttered with large difficulty......

Nurse just raise his bed gown & hold man's testicles in her hand & observed very carefully....then replied.....

"Your testicles are in fine color sir.....they are not black at all...."

The man bring up his hand with difficulty & remove the Oxygen mask & replied.....

"That's gooooood dear, but I wanted to know ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK......"

Fun toons

 

 



SardarJi Medical Test

NURSE kept SARDARS FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE: Why are you DANCING.?.
SARDAR: next is URINE TEST

Top ten reasons why a dog is better than a woman

10. A dog's parents will never visit you.

9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.

8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.

7. A dog never expects you to telephone.

6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.

5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.

4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.

3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.

2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.

1. A dog does not shop.

How to Get Bigger Breast

Fresh from her shower, wife stand in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.”
Willing to try anything, she fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she ask. “They will grow larger over a period of years,” husband replies. She stopped. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?”
Without missing a beat he says,
“Worked for your butt, didn't it?”

Still Alive....

Ooooooooops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Mervin Silva Jokes

Marriage :

Mervin Silva's Girl Friend: I'm one year older than
you....will it bad for
our marriage?
Mervin Silva : No, not at all.....We'll marry in next
year.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Hidden Cameras :

Mrs.Mervin Silva caught Mervin Silva searching high and low
all around his
living room.
Mrs. Mervin Silva: 'What are you searching for?'
Mr. Mervin Silva: 'Hidden cameras!'
Mrs. Mervin Silva: 'And what makes you think that there
are hidden
cameras here?'
Mr. Mervin Silva: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I
am doing. Every
few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are
watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he know
that?'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * *
Relaxing :

Mervin Silva was enjoying the sun at the beach in America .

A lady came and asked him, 'Are you relaxing?'
Mervin Silva answered, 'No, I am Mervin Silva'
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Mervin Silva answered, 'No! No! Me Mervin Silva!'
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Mervin Silva was totally annoyed and decided to shift his
place.
While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, 'Are you Relaxing?'
The other man was a lot more educated and answered,
'Yes, I am relaxing.'
Mervin Silva slapped him on his face and said,'Stupid,
idiot. Everyone is
looking for you and you are sitting over here!'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Heaven :

Mervin Silva died and went to heaven.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that
new rules are
in effect due to the advances in education on
earth. In order to
gain admittance each soul must answer two simple questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with
'T'.
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Mervin Silva thought for a few minutes and answered.
1. The two days of the week that begin with
'T' are Today and
Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, 'OK, I'll buy the Today and
Tomorrow answer, even though
it's not the answer I expected. But how

did you get 12 seconds in a year?'

Mervin Silva replied, 'Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,
March 2nd, etc...'

Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
The Wash Basin :

Mervin Silva goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing
the basin
instead...
The manager comes running and asks him,'Sir, what are
you doing?'
Mervin Silva replies, 'Read this board here, it says
`Wash Basin'.'


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
English Exam :


Mervin Silva finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he did his exam. He replied,
'Exam was okay, but
for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought,
and thought, at
last I wrote THUNK!!!'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
Answer the following questions in brief :

Mervin Silva is appearing for his University final
examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question paper
for five minutes and then in a fit of inspiration

takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He
then removes his
shirt and throws it away as well, followed by his
pants, socks and
watch.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is
going on.
'I am only following the instructions here,' he
says, 'it says here, `Answer
the following questions in brief'.'


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Essay :

The English teacher told all the students in the class to
write an essay
on a cricket match. All were busy writing except

Mervin Silva.
He had written. 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH !!!
'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
The Postman :

The Postman: 'I have to come 5 miles to deliver you
this parcel.'
Mervin Silva: 'Why did you come so far? Instead you
could have posted it.'


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Coffee Shop :

Mervin Silva and his wife went to a coffee shop
Mervin Silva said, 'Hurry Up Drink
quickly.....!!!'.
His wife asked, ' why...???'
Mervin Silva said, 'Hot Coffee Rs.5 and Cold Coffee Rs.
10'.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Letter to his Son :

Mervin Silva was writing something very slowly.
A friend came and askes, 'Why are you writing so
slowly?'
Mervin Silva replies, 'I'm writing to my 6 year old
son,... he can't read
very fast.'


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
How I Look When Im Sleeping :

Mervin Silva was standing in front of the mirror with his
eyes closed.
His wife sees this and asks: What you are doing.....????
Mervin Silva replies, I'm seeing how I look while
I'm sleeping....!!!